Treading Water
by blank canvas of me
Summary: Spoilers: "She locks eyes with him one more time, forces a watery smile to her lips, one that he can't possibly see. The web tightens. 'I'm sorry.' There's a crack. And Gwen can't think anything anymore." Movie-verse. Gwen in the clock tower.


**Treading Water: **

***Spoilers for TASM2***

When Gwen was a little girl, she would sit at her windowsill and watch the world go by. Figuratively and literally. The years seemed to flicker past her without warning, and soon she was thirteen instead of six. When it all became too much, too overwhelming, she would just sit there, tapping her finger on the glass, with her plaid skirt draped over her knees and her short blonde hair tied into a neat pony-tail. She would gaze out the window at New York City, watching cars drive and planes fly past. But never truly going along with the current. Always treading against the water because she could never seem to move on from a moment. Never becoming part of the world that was continuing onward without her.

When she met Peter Parker, she didn't stop fighting either. She just had someone else to keep her company; someone else that was also swimming against the current, refusing to move on.

But now, as her body fell, defenseless, plummeting towards the ground, she felt as if she finally became part of the current around her.

Somehow, in a way, she knew this was the end before it happened.

Even before she sky-rocketed down the clock tower, pieces and chunks of metal flying past her whirling blonde hair and her coat flapping in the fierce wind that seemed to be skinning her cheeks- before all that. She knew in that moment, the moment when he asked if she was okay, and she shook her head no in response. Because she knew. There was this sinking feeling in her gut that she never felt in the face of danger. There was adrenaline, but it was numbed out by terror. Hopelessness. Fear. Sharp, penetrating fear. She's never felt that way before.

She grips onto the web he slung down for her to catch onto, knowing that it was going to break when the clock ticked. Time truly is the enemy, isn't it? And, and- she is going to fall. Gwen's going to put this bluntly- she's terrified out of her wits. She doesn't want to perish in some clock tower and leave Peter all alone. Who else would keep him out of harm's way? Ironic, especially coming from her, right now. If she hadn't been so stubborn, she wouldn't be falling towards her death. She's never felt this way. So helpless and small. Not since her father died and not since she was a little girl who so just out her jaw and refused to play with the other children. She doesn't want to die, but she knows the end is inevitable. The concept of death doesn't frighten her, but the idea of change does. That's part of the reason why she refused to go along with everyone else. She just wanted things to stay the same, just for a little while, just to give her a moment to catch her breath.

It seems her wish is granted as she falls.

Everything seems to stop in place.

She doesn't want to leave her mom-she's already been through so much with the death of her father- her blonde haired brothers, or give up on the rest of her life. Her future. It was all gone, in that instant realization that not everything was going to be okay. This time, Peter couldn't save her. She wants to be with Peter. That's all she's ever wanted.

Funny thing is, she doesn't regret anything. If she could do it all over again, she'd choose the same exact path, even if it meant cutting her life short hundred years short. Her life, before Spider-Man, before Peter, it was just some endless black hole full of praise and admiration. She was always the perfect daughter, the academic achiever, the captain of the debate team. The teenage girl who chose books over boys, an education over love. Oxford. She had such plans for her future. To grow up, to have kids, with Peter perhaps, but now that would never happen. She would never get the chance. She shuts her eyes once, wallowing in the situation, breathing in her grief for what has been lost, and then she opens them and looks at Peter for as long as she can.

She wishes she can see his expression. His big brown doe eyes.

But she also doesn't. She doesn't want to see them full of raw desperation and a willingness to save her that scared Gwen herself.

It just seems unreal. Like some sort of nightmare she's going to wake up from. Or she's going to blink and she's going to be back on the bridge where Peter told her he would follow her anywhere. Only she doesn't. And she continues to spiral into oblivion, latching her fearful, wide blue eyes on Peter's form as he desperately tries to save her. Her body is spread out, like she's doing a backwards belly-flop. She wishes she has strength like Peter. Enough strength to save herself. Time slows down and stretches out. It's as if she's floating through the water instead of air.

She can't breathe. She wants to scream, but all she can do is stare at Peter, wide-eyed, tears glimmering in her eyes. She wants to tell him so much. How much she loves him, how much she thought about their future together, despite never saying it aloud.

He fires a web, and she watches it come, stretch out, almost like it's forming a hand. And for a moment, just a little moment, she has a bit of hope. Maybe she would get out of this okay, just like before, and Peter would be with her.

Time stops again.

The clock stops ticking.

Flashes go through her eyes of memories before she met Peter, when she met Peter, and things they could've had together.

She locks eyes with him one more time, forces a watery smile to her lips, one that he can't possibly see.

The web tightens.

_I'm sorry. _

There's a crack.

She stops treading the water and allows herself to sink into it.

And then she can't think anything anymore.

* * *

**A/N: ...Just... I can't even explain the emotions that movie brought out of me. I never cry during death scenes, but Gwen's just really hit me hard. The brutality of it and how it happened so quickly just nailed me. I was bawling like a little baby. I never cried while watching a movie before. This is written on a rush, non-edited and pretty bad, but reviews are always appreciated. Now, excuse me, I'm going to go sob in a corner. ;( **


End file.
